So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She told me I should be a condom model.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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