He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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