yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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