I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
