my mouth tastes like poor choices
her vagine was all disorganized.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
