I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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