Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
