Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
