Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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