My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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