I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
