its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Holy sore nipples Batman
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
