i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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