fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
