so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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