Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
