Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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