i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
