just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
