Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
should my penis look like a turkey
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
