I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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