hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
