Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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