where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
