Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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