U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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