you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
