i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
