It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think my vagina is haunted
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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