I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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