i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
