I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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