this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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