Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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