You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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