My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
