after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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