you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize