i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
