Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize