we're blogging at a bar
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
