My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
