my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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