Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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