So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
