and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
