Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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