I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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