idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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