yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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