We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
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Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
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I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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