I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
