just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
