R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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