oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
