Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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