the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
