Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
