We named our party play list daddy issues
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
