There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Rumble strips road head = magical
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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