I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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