I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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