He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
