The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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