dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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